AS YOU ALL KNOW BY NOW, OUR HONEYMOON TO CANCUN WAS CANCELLED ON ACCOUNT OF MY HERNIA (HYPENIA.)
IF YOU DON’T KNOW THIS FACT ALREADY, ARE YOU LIVING UNDER A ROCK!?
Everybody and their abuelas are literally reading this blog (see number 2 in the list below.) Abuela is Spanish for grandmother.
Continuing on my quest for positivity, I’ve decided to compile a compilation of the advantages of NOT going on our honeymoon.
1) Due to wedding festivities thus far, I’ve already depleted my bank of paid vacation time. Cancun = no pay, José. Hypenia = short term disability. Haiiiii!!!!
2) Having a freaking bomb wedding and having to cancel your honeymoon on account of your hypenia is apparently great for blogs. In the last few days, my stats were higher than Sandy Hiipakka in #PartyMode. BOOM goes the hypenia. #BestDayEver.
(Prior to my hypenia announcement, one of my most successful days occurred as a result of the removal of Bailey’s weave. Let me put this in perspective for you. My hypenia post more than tripled the amount of visitors and views from #NoWeaveWednesday. Yea–Bye, Bailey!)
3) Bambi is thrilled. She was just slightly traumatized by our wedding weekend and is happy to be spending quality cuddly time with her parents at home. She’s doing this new thing with her puff where she burrows in the blankets and pokes her head out. We think she’s doing this so she can keep her eyes on us (Adam). In her defense, she was very confused about why we would take a trip to her mother country without her in the first place.
4) I’m trying to take advantage of my time off work before I have surgery by accomplishing important tasks. I love a good to-do list. For instance, I’m getting a jump on my name change. Today, we went to the social security office. Below is a photo of us waiting for our number to be called. Note: photos aren’t allowed in the social security office. But if they knew it was for the blog, they’d be okay with it–see number 2 above.
5) While we were to-doing our to-do list today, one of our wonderful friends, Matthew Flume, dropped by the casa (that’s Spanish for house) to bring a bit of Mexico to us. He gifted us with tequila, margarita mix, salt, and a ginormous blow-up dolphin. It literally made my day when I walked in the house and saw my new friend. If we had gone on our honeymoon, I wouldn’t have been able to host yet another phenomenal backyard party. (See below.) Note: please excuse the huge hypenia in my belly.
We swam together.
We held fins.
Haiiiiii Hype Dolphin!
We took margarita shots.
We raged pretty hard in general.
I mean, I don’t even know what I’m doing here.
Update: I have a consultation with a general surgeon today. I’ll know more details regarding a surgery date later!