THIS IS A NEW TYPE OF POST. THE VERY FIRST OF ITS KIND.
Today, I give you the opposite of The Burn Book, and I can't believe that it features my most ratchet friend.
BY NOW, I’M CERTAIN YOU’VE HEARD OF MY FRIEND, BAILEY.
And at the very least, you’ve seen her on Tinder.
She’s got an “IDGAF” attitude, energizer bunny-like partying capabilities, and a loud, raspy 60 year-old man voice that haunts your dreams. All of that is 100% real.
But there’s something about Bailey that is not real. Her hair.
I’m all, “Nice weave Bailey, what’s it made out of?”
Yesterday, an incredible thing happened. Bailey removed her hair extensions.
In several live snapchats, I was able to follow her spiritual journey.
Thank you, Bailey, for making this world a little less ratchet. (Insert praying hand emojis here.) #BetterForIt
Doesn’t it look like the heavens are shining down on her? (Wait, no, I don’t think that’s possible for her.)
I NOW DECLARE THIS DAY A NATIONAL DAY OF CELEBRATION, #NOWEAVEWEDNESDAY!
(Gentlemen–if you’re interested, you can find her at the singles table at the upcoming #happilyharding wedding.)