Until now, these gems had yet to be unearthed. To me, they were urban legends. Luckily, I stumbled upon Ben & Jerry’s Flavor Locator.
When I entered my zip code into the locator, the Wal-mart on my way home from work was at the top of this list. I knew that Wal-mart, being a mecca for holiday candy and limited edition Oreo and Pop-Tart flavors, would not let me down in my quest.
Sadly, I was wrong and Wal-mart did not have my holy grail.
They did have yeast rings though.
On the bright side, I did not make a trip to Wal-mart for nothing as I did not leave empty handed (but that’s a whole different topic.)
Maddened, I thought to myself, “I deserve to eat these ice creams,” and continued to the next stop on my list from the flavor locator. I was determined to investigate these new flavors. And “as a paying customer, I expect to get what I want.” Can you name the movie THAT one came from!?
Know what store saved me from the depths of despair? I’ll give you some clues. Every basic betch gets swallowed up here, entering for one necessity, and leaving with a cart full of items like flip flops, a swimsuit, face washes, nail polishes, greeting cards, whipped cream, 3 pints of Ben & Jerry’s, and pink bunny ears. Yep, you guessed it. TARGET!!
So HERE THEY ARE! The three new Cookie Core flavors:
Peanut Buttah Cookie Core: Peanut butter ice cream with crunch peanut butter sugar bits, peanut butter cookies, and a peanut butter cookie core.
Boom Chocolatta! Cookie Core: Mocha and caramel ice creams with chocolate cookies, fudge flakes, and a chocolate cookie core.
Spectacular Speculoos Cookie Core: Dark caramel and vanilla ice creams with Speculoos cookies and a Speculoos cookie butter core.
With three deliciously tempting ice creams in my hands, I couldn’t help but wonder which one would prevail in our house?
MEET THE JUDGES.
Qualifications: I ate 15+ donuts on National Donut Day in 2013, I’ve had every flavor of Sprinkles cupcake, I once went to four gas stations looking for Moon Pies, and did the drive through at Taco Bell AND Jack in the Box so that I could have French fries with my crunch wrap. Also, my hair is insured for $100,000.
Qualifications: singlehandedly keeps his neighborhood Papa John’s in business, once ate a sasquatch burger (the one with grilled cheese sandwiches as buns) for lunch at noon and another one for dinner at 5pm.
Adam and I sometimes disagree on tastes. Thus, I had to bring in a third tie-breaker judge.
Bailey (she doesn’t have a professional photo because she is not a #model.)
Qualifications: Won $500 worth of Taco Bell gift cards in the waffle taco contest (there’s proof on her Instagram.) She’s also my loudest, most fun friend. She’s always #upforwhatever so I knew she’d want to help review these ice creams with me. All the boys always swipe right when she pops up on Tinder. (Just don’t ask her to take you with her to the Bud Light #houseofwhatever if you can’t go for the whole 72 hours.)
We started with the Boom! Chocolatta. As soon as it hit my taste buds, I noticed the delightful coffee flavor—not too strong but just right. Bailey said, “I like the crunchy thingies.” Adam didn’t say anything—he just chowed down. Out of the three, the cookie core texture of this one was the most cookie-like.
Then, we dove into the Peanut Buttah. When I took my first bite of this one, I squealed out with happiness! “OH MY GOD,” I exclaimed, as angels descended from the heavens. Bailey liked the crunchy thingies. Adam didn’t say anything—he just chowed down. This cookie core texture was reminiscent of peanut butter with very small crunchy cookie bits in it.
Lastly, we sampled the Spectacular Speculoos. My first bite of this one was very snickerdoodly. The vanilla ice cream had flecks of vanilla bean in it, which is always appreciated. I thought the pieces of Speculoos cookies in the ice cream were soggy. Bailey agreed. She said, “It needs some crunchy thingies.” Adam didn’t say anything—he just chowed down. The cookie core taste and texture was exactly like the cookie butter you get at Trader Joe’s!
… And the winner is…
First place: 2 votes to 1, the Spectacular Speculoos took the cake! (Adam & Bailey voted this to the top–my favorite was the Peanut Buttah.)
Second place: Boom! Chocolatta closely behind.
Third place: Peanut Buttah.
Let me be clear–even though Boom! Chocolatta and Peanut Buttah were not voted as the favorite, all THREE will indeed make all your dreams come true.
The bottom line: Bailey needs more crunchy thingies in her life.