The HypeDog

One time I went to Firestone for an oil change and I came home with a dog.

While waiting for my car to be done at the shop, I just strolled along the strip mall killing time. It was a very good strip mall—there’s a TJ Maxx (A really good TJ Maxx), a Sprouts grocery store, and obviously, a Petsmart! We wandered into the Petsmart, which houses some adoptable dogs from our county’s animal control. When we arrived, there were several small dogs inside a larger kennel. My eyes immediately fell on the smallest doggy in the bunch. I gasped and screamed, “BAMBI!” Here she is, all 4.3 pounds of her, the exact moment I laid eyes on her.

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(Doesn’t she look like a little newborn baby? All wrinkly and pale? AwwwWWw!)

We took her into the little “bonding” rooms and she was shaking and alone in this world. I picked her up and said “We’re done here. Let’s go!”

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Adam, of course, rolled his eyes, groaned, and said, “Really, Mollie!? I told you I wanted a big dog.” (This is really ironic now, of course, but that’s a whole different topic for a different post.)

Here’s 5 things you didn’t know about Bambi:

1)      She cost $20. You know I love a good bargain.

2)      She’s had puppies (the vet said so. I search the streets high and low every day for said puppies)

3)      Sometimes she doesn’t even look like a dog!

Here: she looks like a deer (Duh that’s what she’s named after.)

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Below, she looks like a goose.

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Below, she looks like a seal.

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Here, she looks like a dinosaur (rawrrrr).

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Here, she looks like an old man:

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Ohp. Wait, no, that’s my dad. Whoopsies!

4)      She’s very fashionable and gets excited to wear her couture.

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5)      She likes to put her tongue in your food when you’re not looking (that sneaky biotch)

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Yay! Now you’ve met the hypedog!

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